What an interesting place the world is. It is ironic, that people spend so much time and energy, trying to get another person’s time and attention; trying to get into another person’s life. The person they are disturbing did not request it, did not require it, did not desire it. But once the individual succumbs to the pressure and accepts a relationship, marriage, or whatever it is; it may be the beginning of a nightmare.

Some people feel they are doing another person a favor by being in their lives and placing demands, while they do nothing. The same person who hunted you down, begins to harass you with all sorts of abuse, while you, who would never have known them if they didn’t show up, are busy trying to appease them. The most ironic situations are when the victim of the abuse, whether man or woman, is even the main provider both financially and in other aspects. Some people like this stay in abusive situations due to fear of loneliness, raising kids alone, and many other factors.

Domestic abuse is ironic. Abusers that tell their victims they are worthless, still need the partner to cook, clean, service them, and take care of their kids if they have them. So who actually needs who? If the partner was so worthless, why is he still with her? Human nature is finnicky and funny. People walk around like little gods looking for someone to devour. When it is said that the devil walks around like a roaring lion looking for whom to devour, he comes to steal, kill and destroy; watch out. Some people are devils in human form. They will bring little but expect you to bring much.

Everyone is always nice at the beginning. It is becoming more important to note the red flags that a potential husband or wife will be a vampire or deadbeat. By the time you start suffering from stress related health problems, or parent your kids alone while he or she is sleeping, you will understand. It’s not even all about love. Many people have settled for responsible looking people that pursued them, thinking the love will grow, only to find out how irresponsible the fellow actually is. People also hide serious issues like mental problems, or even contagious illnesses.

Bottomline is, forget the noise. Do you. If you are in an abusive situation where you could lose your life or your kids, run. Forget the noise. If you are happy going solo, enjoy. If you are happily married, enjoy. But whatever the case may be, mind your own business.

The world would be so much better if people who would make terrible relationship partners or terrible parents actually minded their business to begin with,and kept themselves to themselves. But ironically, people with problems are the ones who mostly seek out others to solve their problems in name of relationship. Well-rounded people do not run after relationships. Instead, relationships pursue them. However, it is important to be extremely careful who you let into your life.

By Dr Mercy Alu

I am a mother, HR consultant, author, Goodwill Ambassador with Globcal (a partner with UN on SDG's in Africa), coordinator with International Association of African Authors/Scholars, a songwriter/recording artist, researcher, and social anthropologist of sorts! I believe we should all live our best lives, and enjoy helping organizations and individuals perform better. I and my guest authors love to share information about the world around us; African events & Entertainment, plus lots of good information about Health, Wellness, Family, Book Publishing, Business, Relationships, Culture, Folk Stories, and much more. I speak several languages including French and Igbo (a West African Language). I enjoy research, writing, reading, singing and finding out lots of things about, well, lots of things! Knowledge is power. So information and knowledge gained from experiences, observation, all flavor the things I write about in the exciting blog portion of this website. Feel free to drop me a line or two, I also want to hear from you!

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