Miss Universe 2019, South Africa’s ZozibiniTunzi has made us all proud! 

There is a lot of emphasis from her win on role models for women, women empowerment, women issues etc. However, I am seeing a need for programs, groups, leaders, big brothers, fathers that mentor young men. This is a huge part of where the emphasis should be.

If Miss universe is a face representing the voices of women, do we recognize Mr Universe? Couldn’t young men benefit from role modelling of what a good, well rounded man should look like, and what values he can stand for? Many homes are headed by women worldwide due to issues with men being unable to cope with, value or understand their roles in the world as providers, protectors, and guides of society. Many young men only saw how their father used to beat their mother, or stop by to see them once a year etc.

There are many young men who lack understanding of how they should approach life, issues of life, dealing with women, marriage, career, values, faith etc. Men have a harder time asking for help, accepting that they are lost or confused, etc. If men feel supported in mentorship situations where they can deal with issues that affect them, whether in organizations or individually, most of the problems like rape, domestic violence, divorce,, suicide, etc will be reduced.

Men are taught not to cry, to keep their issues inside. Many believe ego is life, and may not know how to express emotion, handle communication, handle women personality with patience, handle stressful career issues or life changes etc. Not every man understands how to be a man, especially in relationships, or in society in general. Many parents don’t focus on teaching their sons life and relational skills, but rather focus on modifying their daughters characters mainly.

To me, the conversation shouldn’t just be on women taking over the world. Yes it should be about empowering women like Miss Universe says; but the wider conversation in the world should emphasize how men can better themselves, their women, their children, their families, their society; how they can allow women to contribute, but still play a leadership role in planning, finding out helpful information on important matters, etc. There are too many weak men that feel no discomfort in leaving everything up to a woman to do, both financially and in terms of offering guidance, or any form of participation. The other extreme are dictators who control all aspects of everything to a fault. How can a good balance be achieved in leadership?

Men are expected to be leaders. It can never be over emphasized that leadership training for relationship management, career management, personality management etc should be a focus of male mentorship. A person who cannot manage himself, his anger, his lack of communication skills, his inability to care about others etcetc, will surely struggle in many aspects of life.