There is a big difference between being ready for a committed adult relationship, and simply”Needing some help” to cope in one aspect or another in life. Unfortunately, many people fall into the trap of being “rescuers”, who are preyed upon by others who can’t get their lives together, or who fell upon hard times. Many people think of relationship when things are not going right, because they might be able to get that other person to help them. Nothing wrong with helping anybody, if the person isn’t a fox or snake that will turn around and bite you. If you release a hungry lion from a cage, who do you think it will eat first?

And for those who abuse/maltreat other people in one way or another who accepted them for relationship, it is a negative way of releasing life’s frustrations. But, consider that the person who accepted to relate with you in that marriage, did not “cause” your problems in life. If you are angry because armed robbers killed your father and you suffered through younger years, or you dropped out of school and just can’t make something out of your life, or you have diabetes, or whatever else is making you angry at the world: It is not your partner’s fault. If anything else, go fight your parents. They brought you into this world and you are their product.

You don’t have the right to look for an individual who has nothing to do with your upbringing, and put your stress on them. You have a problem that your wife’s parents are alive and yours is not, or that she has a good job and you do not, is it her fault? As a woman, do you expect your husband to train all your siblings in school, take care of your aged parents, rescue every uncle and relative that claims to need help without caring whether he can afford all of that? Did you train him in school, or you feel you met a fat cow to bring into your family to milk?

I pray people become less selfish. I also pray that unwise people become wise. Nobody is responsible for your problems that occurred before you met them, and maybe even afterwards. If they help you, be thankful because they don’t owe you. If you are entering a relationship, what do you have that one would like to relate with? Don’t you think it is a give and take that should be mutually beneficial? Nobody should feel harassed, belittled, drained of their resources, abused, maltreated, insulted, or in any way uncomfortable for knowing another human being just for relationship. If a person cannot relate positively or contribute anything meaningful to such partnership, then they really should mind their business and leave other people’s children alone, instead of dragging them into their mess.