The problem is not the word marriage or the marriage institution, it is “you”. 
Yes, *#you who pretended throughout courtship and made the man or woman fall for your pretence and got married to *#you. Be real, be true and the right man or woman will marry you for who you are. “Something “#you won’t take in the evening , don’t take in the morning” – Proverb.
Dear lady, why do you pretend to love his family during courtship, even showered them with gifts only to ostracize them after marriage? Again, after marriage you both drive away all friends you both grew up with, even colleagues. Do you not know that when the chips are down, one of his or her family members, old friend or colleague may have his or her ‘mumu” button to be able to call him or her to order ?
Do not make somebody who ordinarily likes calm, a soft-spoken man or woman marry you who is “hot” (fire) but pretended to be calm before marriage. There is no way that marriage won’t scatter when you bring out your real self. It is a wrong foundation and it is bound to collapse. Some like them hot so stop putting on another’s garment in pretense before marriage.
After marriage, “#you who was very understanding, respectful, patient and tolerant is now a lion and lioness. Some of his or her behaviors that “#you overlooked, that was ok by “#you, that “#you lived with, in your effort to prove *#you have understanding and that you are patient, tolerant and a wife/husband material. “#You did all that so he or she won’t call off the engagement or won’t fail to propose? *#You won, one proposed; the other accepted.
Now reality sets in, marriage practical starts and the center can no longer hold. Everyday argument. He or she thinks village people have bewitched you not knowing that you have only worn your real and true apparel, away from pretense. Then love begins to turn to hate.
Those things you tolerated, looked away from, allowed to slide are same things for which you are now raising dust in an effort to assert your position over one another, possessing your position, domineering, controlling him or her like a baby. Excessive jealousy is suicidal. Nobody owes anybody anything, marriage is not loss of freedom nor a prison. Controlling stopped under parents house.
Leave each other’s phone(s) alone, look away sometimes as you did during courtship when all he or she needed to say was “it’ is not what you think, I can explain” then you listened and actually forgave. After marriage you are no longer listening but screams liar everywhere week after week, month after month. Even when “#you finally accept appeal and forgive, you keep recalling that event like national anthem “that is how you did last time”. Can we leave the past in the past? afterall you have forgiven that sin.
Days are gone when a wife becomes “lord” and unmovable because she gave birth to a male child for a man, even 10 male kids won’t stop divorce but peace at home will.
*#Dorothy Chinenye Frank-Taylor*#

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